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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Pressure strikes.

I truly do not know what I want to do in my life. I feel that I am losing bit by bit. I do not want to sound like as if I am grabbing attention but honestly I do not know what I want to do in my life. Luck is not in my side anyways.

- Getting into the course that is completely opposite of my main interest. I could no longer cope it. :'(
- People do not appreciate your sincerity. They make use of it for their own sake. Same as people do not appreciate your friendship, they make use of it for their own sake. BETRAYER.
- When I thought he was the right person, I was about to give my everything. But to know he is not I was crushed. I pretend not to know that he is not the right one finally I get what I deserved. In his mind this love is just a puppy love but for me it is not.
- Due to the reception I mention above, being a stubborn person I learned that I could not forget him for merely 2 years. 2 years of grieving and occasionally shedding tears (You see, when I love someone, I love him forever but when it is over, my love for him can never be easily replaced). Now, I am afraid of starting new; I am afraid of being into new relationship. Sigh.
- Also this person who taught me what is love and what it feels like to be loved, told everyone (actually not everyone because I do not have prove but he did told someone) that I fall for him first but the truth is it was him who fall for me which is in fact a puppy love (I discovered it recently after much thoughts) and I have proves and witnesses. Sigh, I am extremely disappointed with him. Only GOD knows the TRUTH.
- Everyone seems to blame me for tragic/incident I never do or unintended to do. I feel like breaking into pieces.

Life is not fair after all. Sigh.

Signing off.

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