Sexy dress, Past are past..
I really can't sleep so I decided to type up some of my thoughts. This mid noon(actually it was yesterday cause its already past twelve midnight), my mum bought me a surprise. And guess what? A sexy night dress which is what I'm wearing now.You'll laugh out if see me wearing it cause my boyish behavior doesn't seems to suits me. But at least I don't appear absolutely bizarre wearing it. Unlike my sister. Not that she's weird or any of those, its just that she's a bit boyish, if you know her. Haha. Sorry sis.
Talking about boyish reminds me of my past where I used to be a bit boyish(look at my last few post. There are pictures of me when I was little). On that period, I was undoubtedly envy towards my sister because she was so girlish. Unlike me, she used to love pink colors, dolls; all girlish things. Whereas I, act like a boy and even thought that I didn't deserve to be a girl but at that point I really want to be like one, girlish. The reason could be that I felt most odd of all( my sister and my cousin sister). And I never smile since I was young, a very timid girl who always sits alone in class(simply because there were some cliques. yup. During kindergarten and primary school). And I preferred to mix with the boys(until now) because boys are nicer and they don't backbite other. So my friend back then was a boy when I was in kindergarten whom I lost contact with up till now. Also, my father used to hit me, shout or scream at me. He sometimes hit my head to the wall or to the wooden bed post until my head felt dizzy and I almost fainted. I think that causes me to be hot-tempered person. But of course he never do that again. Just those moments. But he always hold grudges and quite a patient man. He's a nice man. I have to admit that my childhood times aren't so joyous(I'm not talking about my father). It's not important anymore. But seriously those awful period makes me becoming more fearful of even the silliest things or actions. So don't be surprise if you saw me disturbed by the most silliest things or actions. OMG. I'm starting to cry!
But I grew stronger my those experiences and further more, I told myself that women can never be abused. I will never let women to be abused especially in front of me.
Thats all. Need to hit the bed before my mother come in! Nitey nite.
I really can't sleep so I decided to type up some of my thoughts. This mid noon(actually it was yesterday cause its already past twelve midnight), my mum bought me a surprise. And guess what? A sexy night dress which is what I'm wearing now.You'll laugh out if see me wearing it cause my boyish behavior doesn't seems to suits me. But at least I don't appear absolutely bizarre wearing it. Unlike my sister. Not that she's weird or any of those, its just that she's a bit boyish, if you know her. Haha. Sorry sis.
Talking about boyish reminds me of my past where I used to be a bit boyish(look at my last few post. There are pictures of me when I was little). On that period, I was undoubtedly envy towards my sister because she was so girlish. Unlike me, she used to love pink colors, dolls; all girlish things. Whereas I, act like a boy and even thought that I didn't deserve to be a girl but at that point I really want to be like one, girlish. The reason could be that I felt most odd of all( my sister and my cousin sister). And I never smile since I was young, a very timid girl who always sits alone in class(simply because there were some cliques. yup. During kindergarten and primary school). And I preferred to mix with the boys(until now) because boys are nicer and they don't backbite other. So my friend back then was a boy when I was in kindergarten whom I lost contact with up till now. Also, my father used to hit me, shout or scream at me. He sometimes hit my head to the wall or to the wooden bed post until my head felt dizzy and I almost fainted. I think that causes me to be hot-tempered person. But of course he never do that again. Just those moments. But he always hold grudges and quite a patient man. He's a nice man. I have to admit that my childhood times aren't so joyous(I'm not talking about my father). It's not important anymore. But seriously those awful period makes me becoming more fearful of even the silliest things or actions. So don't be surprise if you saw me disturbed by the most silliest things or actions. OMG. I'm starting to cry!
But I grew stronger my those experiences and further more, I told myself that women can never be abused. I will never let women to be abused especially in front of me.
Thats all. Need to hit the bed before my mother come in! Nitey nite.
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